How did I become involved in all this naked stuff?
Well, when I think back, I suppose I was going along with the way
most people cover themselves, without thinking much about it; it was
just something I did because everyone else did - unconscious living I
think they call it. Then, one event that really sticks in my mind is
after visiting the 'naturist' part of Studland beach, Dorset, on the
south coast of England. I was sat with my family and friends on a
'normal' beach - 'textile' as naturists call it - and I started to
think, "Well why not here?" So I stripped off and enjoyed the sun and
air to it's fullest extent. The only remark I recall, despite it being
quite a busy beach, was on leaving
the water, a man passed me and uttered, "Pervert", in my direction. An
insight
perhaps, into what for many people, the naked body represents in our
sick society.
My personal philosophy is based on the idea of 'being myself', and
has been for twenty years or so - I was even designing and printing
tee-shirts which said, "B YOURSELF" - and for me that has been the way
I've been heading ever since; trying to grapple with the concept - to
be or not to be - and understanding the fear, in myself, standing in my
way.
The change from occasional nakedness to more public expression
came when I emigrated to Canada. I didn't find work straight away,
and was asked to write a 'mission statement' for the co-housing
community that I had moved into with my partner and two children. I knew I was good at focussing
on things when I went for a walk, so off I went. On my walk I had the most
beautiful experience, not only being able to focus, but feeling very
connected and empowered, which moved me to tears. Well, you can
imagine after such an experience I started to go for walks more often
until I was going every evening, and very often reaching a blissed out
state. The resulting effect was the experience of ok-ness and the
natural desire to want to express that in the way I lived my life. One
of the ways I did this, was being more daring in my nakedness at lakes
and beaches because, I thought, if I'm ok, then my body which is part
of me, is ok also, so why should I hide it?
Something else happened that focused my energy specifically on
nakedness: in the co-housing community where I lived, the children,
often initiated by my daughter who, up until that point had been
raised in a relaxed way, would often shed their clothes and run
around naked in the courtyard, much to my delight and perhaps a
little enviousness of their freedom.
However, it wasn't long before I
noticed some of the adults becoming uncomfortable, for whatever reason, with
this spontaneity, and they sought through various subtle suggestions
and comments to get the children to cover up, "For their own good", of
course! This alarmed me greatly, as I not only wanted to protect their
innocence, but I was witnessing before my very eyes, the process in
which shame is passed down from generation to generation: adults
too afraid to examine their own feelings of shame or awkwardness
and take responsibility for it, instead, perpetuating that self-hate and
fear by making our children feel wrong. The more I reflected on this
whole sad conditioning process, and got clearer on the significance it
has played in damaging me, the more determined I've become to face
the fear that has kept me from doing something about it: the fear of
disapproval.I'm like anyone: I want to be loved. As children, the approval of our
parents and significant others are tantamount to our survival: we will
do anything to be loved, including give ourselves up. As adults, the
approval of others is less critical, although still one of the most
powerful of forces - just start looking at why you do things, and you
will see how high up the agenda pleasing others is in your motives.
For me the 'connectedness' I have experienced with myself, has acted
as a countermeasure to my dependence on others for my approval of
myself as a human being. It's not that I don't want approval from
others, I still do, but it's not at any cost. I've come to realise that if
the words 'be true to yourself' are to mean anything, then one can't
go around asking everyone, "How would you like me to be?" One has
to just do it, and accept the risk that some people might not approve -
or face the bigger consequence of not being connected and true to yourself - and
the more I've experienced this connectedness the more important it
has become in my life.
This may paint a picture to some people of an attitude of not caring
about others, but how can one care about others if one cannot care
for oneself? If I can't stand by myself, to be all that I am and can be,
then how can I give others the freedom to do the same? If I am not
for me then who will be? My own experience is if I do something out
of obligation or guilt, then I feel resentful which eats away at
relationships eventually destroying any love that was there. And if
you take a look at society, there's plenty of evidence of the resentment
people have, as it manifests itself in the form of anger and destruction.
I believe that if I act according to what's best for me, and in so doing I
harm others, the mistake is not in putting myself first but in
misunderstanding what's best for me.
So, my naked activism is firstly and most importantly about me
standing up for myself, a declaration of myself as a beautiful human
being, an expression of my ok-ness in the face of so much self hate,
and I invite others to join me in celebrating this, in a show of
solidarity of what it means to be a human being not ashamed of
ourselves in our most natural state.
Steve Gough
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Journey so far
